Friday, February 27, 2009

Arranged Marriages

Throughout the World different cultures handle marriage differently. Arranged Marriages could be defined as a marriage organized by parents of the couple instead of the couple falling in love. There are advantages and disadvantages to this. Arranged marriages still exist in South Asia, Middle East, and Africa. They were once taken in by many Aristocratic Families in Europe. Though arranged marriages are viewed as a terrible thing they can not be confused with forced marriages. While arranged marriages have both children fully obey their parents, forced marriages are done without the will of the participants. There are many different types of arranged marriages such as shotgun marriages, forced marriages, and child marriages.

Since arranged marriages have been done since generations there are many variations such as a shotgun marriage, child marriage, and forced marriage. While an arranged marriage focuses on finding the perfect match for their daughter in forced marriages the main motivation is to get more social or economic standard making family and society the supreme factor. Even though a forced marriage is uncommon in the West it is not so in the rest of the World. The brutal thing about this type of marriage is that to make sure the children do as they are told, they are often threatened with either a penalty or even sometimes disinheritance and death. A child marriage is between two children of even babies who are married. These two children often live apart in their own families until after puberty when they are brought together. These matrimonies are done for political or financial purposes. Of course women are often required to bring along a dowry especially in India were this also supports the man dominance. A form of betrothal called a shotgun wedding is when a bride gets pregnant and the groom is forced to marry her. These types of marriages even still happen in America and it are classified as forced marriages because the groom has to marry the bride.

When the parents chose the spouse of their daughter or son many factors are considered. Though in each country there are some things still left open for the children like first meeting each other before the wedding day most parents though rely on some main points. First of all the reputation of the spouse’s family has to be good. The occupation of the person also is highly regarded. For a groom, jobs which pay nicely are in preference meaning professions like accountant, lawyer, doctor, scientist, or engineer. For a bride, the vocation is not so important but liked careers are a teacher, doctor, or lawyer. Often two people who have the same job are matched in arranged marriages. The wealth of the families also matter. A noble family would want their child to marry another rich family. A factor which comes into play when the parents are looking for a bride or groom is their religion which is a very large issue. Since a couple would join hands, they would have to join hands in their religion as well. Not to forget that when you have a religion such as Hinduism, vegetarians often do not marry omnivores. Some features which seem to be used in matchmaking are height and age where both times the groom should be taller and older which seem quite natural. When choosing, language is often a barrier for the bride and groom must have the same mother language which can sometimes get quite tricky. When a family has a deformity or disability they often match their son or daughter to a person with the same problems which makes everything more easy. Though subjects like city of residence, educational level and other such things are considered they are not as significant as the horoscope. In India the position of the stars when the child is born are matched with the bride and groom to see whether they fit which often comes with a percentage of match.

Though arranged marriage is seen as a bad thing by most non-participants there are arguments for these kinds of weddings. Arranged marriages are good in a way because your parents like the person you will have to marry and they also like his/her family. If your parents did not liker your spouse, the marriage with him will be noisy, annoying, and depressing. People also believe that a couple in love can not make the right choices for they are too blinded by their affections. It is also said that while betrothals may be not welcomed at first, they are still more stable than love marriages. A factor that makes arranged marriages bad is that you maybe would not like the person you are being wedded to but you would still have to live with him/her which would make you unhappy. Having a say who you would marry while your parents had only a little bit of influence would make everyone quite content. Though arranged marriages may seem normal to some countries, in the West it is considered to oppress humans and their rights. The UK even banned it from being done in Britain. For there is a saying that says “A person may find themselves stuck in marriages with persons decidedly not of their own choosing... whom they may find personally repulsive”.

In the Western World people always follow their love, marrying whom they want and please. Dating is also no problem while in countries with arranged marriages it is forbidden. A factor that sometimes causes problems after the marriage is that the parents had not fully looked into the medical condition of a spouse. After being married it is close to impossible to get out of the marriage and their may not be any legal way to do it. This often leads to honor killings. Arranged marriages are betrothals that somehow lay waste to what an individual wants and only focus’ on the family. Even if the couple does start to love each other after the wedding (in which case it was a well match) the probability is low. But one can always hope that the traditional arranged marriages lighten up and leave more freedom for the children to find their own partner.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Shabanu Anticipation Guide

1) It is possible to experience love at first sight.

I disagree with this statement for first of all one could not fall in love with a person by just setting eyes on them. A person could find them attractive (and even get a crush) but one could not feel love. People of can through the beauty they see, find a character very like their own or to their liking so thus they would start to love this person. I have read in several books how “Love enters by the eyes and also leaves by the eyes” but this does not mean to me that falling in love can happen at “first sight”. It seems impossible to me. Loving a person indicates that you know their defects and characteristics but you can not identify these things through mere appearance for looks are deceiving.

2) Two complete strangers stuck on a deserted island could learn to love one another (and yes, stay with one another after being rescued).

I agree to this declaration since on a lonely Island you depend on each. The man needs the skilled hands of a woman and the woman needs the brutal strength of men. Also, after a while a place without anybody else makes you focus on the other person and soon you will start loving. Even if this is not very likely I still find it can happen for the reason that these two strangers could not be so different from each other. They might even be attracted by each other the first time they see one another. Who knows! But even after leaving that deserted Island you would be attached to one another. Hardship and tough experiences had been shared which could brand one another into each other. Love is a tricky thing for it is very hard to predict.

3) It is a good thing to sacrifice your happiness for the desires of others.

I disagree; happiness in life is needed to keep you going and make it more joyful. To sacrifice your enjoyment is making you neglect yourself. How can you live without bliss? The desires of others (or their hopes) may be important but it will not be them who have to live your life. Let’s take an arranged marriage for example; your parents chose the perfect man for you in their eyes, marrying him would make their day but would they have to live with him? Talk to him? Serf him? Bear him children? It is not right to give up something so little but yet so important. Of course there is an exception. If a sacrifice would make another person glad and in the long run makes you therefore happy then this would of course be a good surrender. For you would not really sacrifice your cheerfulness since you would gain it back soon with their contentment.

4) Women in your society are free citizens.

I disagree with this announcement for if you look here in Cyprus, it is a very man dominated world. Woman nearly are never respected here for even if they say something intellectual their man will still scorn them (either for speaking or thinking I’m not quite sure yet) and woman are often just oppressed. Also here, I don’t think one would really vote a woman as president (even if our Cypriot classmates do not support this theory). Another thing in Cyprus which is also does not support this statement is the treatment of the Asian and Philippine people. A Chinese woman is not paid the same fee as a Cypriot woman to clean a house (a Cypriot woman wouldn’t even clean the house in the first place) and sometimes these fees are so low it’s unbelievable! At Frederick University a Philippine woman who cooks there for Mr. Frederick is paid 1 pound an hour. Also immigrants here are oppressed too (woman or man) which totally makes the woman in my society not free citizens.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Real and Fake Emotion Show

I like the book more than the movie. First of all, the book gives you more information and a feel for the characters while the film doesn’t even introduce each character, leaving you… I also found that while the book’s scenes flowed, the movie snapped from action to action, never really letting you know where you were right then. For example, I didn’t like how one second Johnny and Ponyboy were on the train and suddenly they are in the old church. Also when Johnny and Ponyboy are originally in the burning church but abruptly they are in an ambulance makes it all choppier. A fact that’s frustrating is how everything is so well painted out in the book while the movie is a hollow frame of a great story. What annoyed me the most was that the film makers left good and important scenes out like the reporters at the hospital- which gives us a very colourful image of Sodapop’s personality-, Ponyboy being jumped, Ponyboy being sick, the trial, and when he is told off by his teacher. These scenes all gave me a better hold on the story and connections with the events. The main reason why I like the book better is the fact that we know Ponyboy’s thoughts and feelings whereas the movie is like a person showing you snapshots of a tragic story. The Outsiders movie is sometimes like a sculpture, cold; unemotional. In the book, the Greasers are tuff and real hoods.